i remember where; i was living in Maine, involved w/ building a co-housing artist community. + so, i must remember when. The late ‘80s. i was going through an expressionistic phase + scribbling auras around sentiant beings in drawings. Cartoonish, to be sure. But the work was dead serious. i remembered these - but only found bad detail images of the works on paper. After Koudelka’s captivating photography. It is interesting to figure what was going on when past moments were recorded in your life — as  art is a recording of it.

i heard today via internet that Danny Kaye is only remembered by his aging audience - something profoundly sad about that, if it is true.

IDEA: Of literary devices never used.
IDEA: Nightmare projects listing themselves.
IDEA: Non-sequitur - write a story of a man flip booking through an encyclopedia or switching the tv from channel to channel.  
IDEA: A trilogy that goes together kicking + screaming.

Write about it again … you’re not done with it. 

Someone in the next room trying to get all the attention. 
My attention. 
Did you hear?
It all seems miles away.  

Having a cryptomnesia moment: 

i can always find fault w/ a decision made, because every quandary starts off w/ many angles. Outcome + go. + over time the woven memories of cause + effect have proven to be a graceful acceptance of it all. 

Even dystopian fiction has a very bright future.

The fullness is often overwhelming ... life coming + leaving in a myriad of ways. The drifting, shifting, meandering, forcing of it all. + here I stay … sitting + making marks on a piece of paper ... listening to what they say between the lines + in the shifting of colors. Taking meaning of my sometime random + racing imagination. Finding solace again in the fact that after thinking out all the scenarios i can possibly come up with, i then remember; what WILL happen is something i had not even thought of.

W/ all of the time that has been + will be i find it strange that we are anything anywhere at any time. Synchronicity trips along the path + we call it dancing.

The dance goes on.

Endless possibilities are. 

Racing past each blank moment. Each idea waving wildly to entice. + most, in turn, being loudly thwarted. Each then retreats, lowering itself into the pit of ideas that lie-in-wait, until someones comes along to animate.

i’m not a big fan of time. Neither do i believe in physics. So it follows that i wouldn't be into capitalistic ideas. Nothing exists w/out impermanence - so i wait a few.

For the moment, i am off deadline. Exhaustion creeps in when i sit. It's then i feel everything is happening in the next room. There is a fuzzy wall between my energy + the thing that is happening in front of me. Things are happening in front on me. i simply step into it. i am reminded of how easy Nijinsky made it sound — when asked why his grand jete looks like levitation — I simply step up and stand in the air. 

i don’t really remember if i’ve ever believed in the notion that we are all in the same boat. Perhaps in the same slip stream. Mostly, i am alone paddling, constantly going back for a second look at my dreaded conversation remorse, avoiding the unpredictable waterfall or spinning around + around just for fun. 

The magicians silk is draped over the prize; covering what we think we know. But when revealed we are sorry we ever tried.

Art is the sensuous expression of ideas. Hegel said something close.

They are  all scare and no substance … like a long shadow, but no one's there. -'Drew, in his political observation noir phase.

His huge bulk wedged inside a telephone booth, he was fuming into the phone over some isolated I cant even remember. The diner’s diners were trying not to notice this frantic man. i was reminded of Twain's,  let us pull the curtain of charity over the moment. The booth conversation ended + he rocked the booth violently to get the folding door open, obviously a well practiced trick, + headed for his stool + the truckers hot plate waiting at the counter. Then someone hollered Hi Tiny! i read the booth guys face as absolute glee. Why are all these huge guys always named TINY?

Weird; i can remember what is going to happen, but fail to bring up what's past. For instance, my little brothers birthday is going to be on the 12 of march, but i cant remember what day it was last year ...

Then i remember i do not have a little brother.

Only a pawn in the big picture. + i'm in that picture somewhere.

There is an entire 
generation
that 
has
never 
seen 
shag carpet.

Isolation is no longer an option.

Figuring is a compelling thought; the complexity of words when used as a constrictor knot. The slip of the noose never loosens. 

The 12 step/ping on eggs plan. Most of the time i feel like i’m on the twelve-step program + i’m not an addict … is this the human condition? It is insulting to me as an artist to be asked to play such a shallow game.

The great debate.

i am a cross trained artist. That means, out of necessity, i'm trained in the fine arts, theater arts + design arts.

 

Having used the terms artist / image maker on my vitae for the past thirty years, It is impossible for me to separate the doing + the being. i also use the word, designer, just as often. The word artist is not pretentious. It's just a word we turn over + into something in our minds. 

101. Cross-training is important. There is no obvious path, + there isn't an automatically garnered paycheck. It is valuable to know what you are asking to be done. Know the execution of what you are asking of someone else. When others realize you have come up in the ranks, + you have put your time in, there is more allowance of respect.  

We have a saying — whomever touches the project last, wins.

After everyone has taken off their stage makeup, + other, i’m asked to go celebrate the show. i decline. Thinking: let me simply enjoy you professionally up on the stage. i am not interested in what pills you take, what labels you wear, what animals you eat….

You all know how to do this  — we’ll come back, for the hard part.

Way Random.

Yes, there is an immediacy, visual satisfaction, + acceptance in symmetrical.beauty. i have a long-time collaborator whom goes to symmetry first, + that is good play for me ... because i do not think symmetrical naturally. Asymmetrical comes as a first hit  + i need to work at finding a symmetry. It can be true, though, in art as in nature — the most striking look is symmetrical.

Pacing the floor + staring down into the wood grain, i spy the dog profile, the man in the moon, the kinda sorta. Over + over again. W/ an inward smile at the portrait of the artist as a space cadet — the pacing stops + walking begins.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  -Plato 

i have felt that whether, is an odd word. It looks to me to be spelled wrong. It does not work well written, a bit better in verbal speech.

   1. Used to introduce an interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate uncertainty between them; if.

He chose the correct answer, but whether by luck or by skill I don't know.

 2. Used to introduce a yes-or-no interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of a single possibility, and indicate uncertainty over it; if, whether or not.

Do you know whether he's coming?

   3. Used to introduce multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate the irrelevance of which is the case; regardless of whether, no matter whether.

He's coming, whether you like it or not.

These are the eyes of a maché Minotaur mask.

This is all that is left.

Thoughts have been too wiley to capture. i need a larger net.

Here are a few of the smaller ones that fell for the booby trap.

i no longer assume.

(not just an interesting idea)

In this dream, i am driving in traffic. i climb in the back seat to get a better view of what just went past, a wider view of what is going on. In back i can neither steer nor use the break, i’m totally out of control … + … everything is okay, it works out on its own just fine.

The mind is so very loud when it is silent.

Using a needle with an eye as big as a camel.

i like the metaphor Ship of Fools. The objective of singling out individuals that are less desirable, + giving them the honor of a one-way ticket out of the harbor. They’d land on another shore … where eventually they'd be rounded up again to embark on another voyage somewhere else. Those must have been the most interesting of happenings.

 These images were taped together + stuck in an old sketchbook. i love the idea of triptych. Thinking what this one was about, or rather, what i was trying to say other than putting things together + seeing how they relate. i do remember this was the day that i was costumed as a gypsy + kb tied me to a Metropolitan column. Screaming during the photo shoot until a crowd had gathered. We did, however,  disappear before the police showed up.

Reckless.

It had something to do with that wall installations for an italian nightclub. We made illustrations painting white dancing macabre figures on black plastic trash bags. Behind on deadline, + very impatient, we doubled the number of images in half the time by wet coping them on more trash bags, Rorschach test style. Ugh, that reminds me of painting backdrops in an abandon house, winching as we heard the rats chasing across the sagging sketchy roof.

You know, creepy.

Of course there were, + are, also the true quiet profound moments. Those just don’t seem as loud, or come forward as often.

Strange.

Stretching the rules Right Over Yourself

(+ i mean) tedious random notes from a notebook.

Not very often, i’ll look into an old codex + read where my mind was at the time. Try to figure out my connection to the page. First, there is the deciphering of my phonetic spelling, + the mistakes of my furiously getting something down on paper. What''s left, or revealed may, or not, be the original thought.

So, here i go, again.

Dream of a refusal to listen to silent books.

What word describes a combination of misunderstood + thirsty.

Look for an alternate ambivalent tribe.

Revisit an old painting -She Carried a Blazing Flag + was Looking for a Cause.

Meet someone who wants to become a pamphleteer + is not the type you run across the street to get away from.

Articulate ideology.

Decide whether life is detritus. Or not.

Remember; understanding poetry is kind of like asking someone to untie some else’s knot.

Rest on that.

 

                                                                           

One of my favorite unrealized tee shirts:

We may be Slow, but we’re Expensive.

Honestly, i have those horrifying moments while driving, when i completely + absolutely do not know where i am. Intellectually, i know it will only last a moment, but emotionality that moment lasts an eternity.

i like savoring the feeling of being ahead of whatever game i’m playing. Being ahead is better than the view never changing...

Everything on my do-to list is to-done. i know it’s a scrim illusion, all an ongoing relentless process. But hey, throw me a bone here.

Moreover, while i’ve spent these few minutes hunting + pecking i’ve probably lost my edge, so it was all a moot point. 

i’ll mash print anyhow.

Someone turn on the radio, it is mostly way too noisy in here.

Bear was a white guy, w/ green eyes on the red path.

20- years on, Counting Crows happened to be in the air at the shop + i remembered back to the evening of the concert. The street around Bimbo’s in SF was packed as we neared the club. Our search + the improbability of finding a parking spot had him monologging a mantra,  … she stomps out of the diner… her runs after her… she says take me home angrily… he stomps off to the car… he revved the engine… they pull out... there is still two bucks on the meter…  Inside a circus. A curious blond mop of hair eats the microphone. It had a great beat + you could dance to it. i sat rolling cigarettes poorly, but still smokeable, wondering if the show on or off the stage was best.

i tend to personify everything. Everything from lint to car engines. A bit like listening to a foreign language + pulling out what sounds like English to understand it. — Not interested in drawing it unless the subject breathes. i am no background story boarder. Another one of those, if i wake up + am it, great. However, i would not want to study for years to be it.

Too bad.
Not enough time.
Messages found written in the unfinished.

Honestly, is there any difference in a costumer and a bag lady?

Remember Jayne, do not get dead lining mixed with flat lining. -LH

Rando-mize:

This surfaced and was too good not to share.

Circa: 1993 Here we are. What a day, + we look like wrecks. + what of it? 

i was art directing. We had stopped for a ‘buddy’ shot during the plexi-painting photo. From left, someone-you-know, Ann Cunningham, Terry Koepsel + Lonnie Hanzon, looking as though he is trying to talk photographer, John Mueller, out of this one.

ME: Any monkey can do what i do…

LONNIE: Well, that may be true, but do you realize how long it would take to train a monkey?

‘Drew is listening to the song One More Day from Les Miz (colloq.) when his sister comes in asking  hurried questions about this and that.

He raises his eyes to heaven in mock disgust, The moment is ruined! START IT AGAIN!

He cracks me up.

The only part of costuming i do not like is taking the time opening safety pins.

Where there are possibilities of too many double letters in one word, i usually get the spelling wrong.

+ another thing, the ‘i e’ rule doesn’t.

Matching furniture is a clue to adulthood.

i wonder about many things ...  not in the least is, when did my generation get use to listening to mini sound speakers instead of the steady boom of a Klipsh Belle?

Ahm just saying...

Everyone wanting to make their mark aside...

If you are treading the fine between artist you may hear yourself droning,

Hey, that’s been done ... that’s not original, hey!

In contrast, as a designer, your inner voice may cheer on w/ a license to beg, borrow or steal.

HEY, I REALLY NEED THAT IDEA!

A compliment to the last manipulator, really.

Oh, he just stole from me, I steal from everybody. -Woody Guthrie

Plagiarism is basic to all cultures. -Seeger Sr.

Bad artists copy. Good artists steal. -Pablo Picasso (oh yes, even him.)

random miscellaneous

My advice is...no longer insult the feelings of an exasperated people.  -Samuel Adams 

Admit something and there’s nowhere a critic can go. If you run and hide, they will follow.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. 
-Mark Twain / 2x

The common left-in-the-lurch nightmare when there is a huge installation deadline: In this dream we were all ready. Everything was staged for the big install the day before opening night. i went very early in the morning to meet everyone on site. i found a note in the green room. A note saying everyone had signed up for a group vacation to Hawaii.  -jahh

If this be treason, then make the most of it!  -Patrick Henry.

Puppet are happy to be puppets if the puppeteer is a good puppeteer.  -Fellini

It has been said, many times, by me, that the future isn’t what it use to be, and furthermore it never was.  

-Lee Hayes.

Random tag notes:

Swatting the shadow of a moving fan above my head.
There is a disease for every profession.

Critics have a hard time digging up dirt if you hand it to them.

a few Random / Thoughts 

We need to release all of the marginally insane.

four kinds of adults
-the kind that were teased as kids.
-the kind that were not teased as kids.
-the kind that teased.
-the kind that did not tease.

Being EFFORTLESS. i've been reading articles about Zen to Houdini, all of them emphasizing the need to be effortless in your work. Regardless of the hard work you put into your writing, the reader must sense it's easy for you. Is this idea important?

Star Wars: There is a war going on for chrisake, why doesn't anyone lock up the flight machines? Everyone seems to be taking off in whatever vehicle is the most convenient.

Never wear your Bulgari or Prada to a charity meeting.

When in a museum, when you know from the map that as you round the next corner there will be a Rembrandt ... does your head trumpet, Ta Ta Ta Dahhh.

lood i palms... ? 
i reckon i write to get down ideas, not to be able to read it later.

Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.   -It figures that Picasso said that.

Turn on the inspiration.
As a designer you don’t always have the luxury to wait around for this nicety. Yup, it is great to be able to sit + veg out in your cavernous studio aimlessly looking about + have a body of work fall on your imagination + in your lap in its entire form all ready to be realized + manifested into unth detail.

Of course, this is the MUST-DO art work of it all, not the quick hysterical stuff; but the true quiet profound excitement stuff.

i’m in consintratio.
That’s a component to the alchemic recipe, i reckon, in my world.

The installation-cavalier-conceptual artist Ann Hamilton talks about Making a Condition for something to happen. The 4th dimension. Inclusive of the visitor, indeed depended on the voyeur for the outcome.

Again ... i do the best i can ... the yen is to, by not getting in my own way, without hesitation, draw an inspiration and write something enigmatic. Too often i’m writing while driving, scraping into the dust, or drawing hits w/only a bad pen on a ripped receipt.

Art, then, sometimes seems an elaborate dance around something you can’t make.

Add a muffled boom + a ring of smoke appearing at the bottom of the cartoon canyon.

Random thoughts getting clearer.

We are not here to point out others mistakes, only to appreciate them.

Competition is the bouquet of life. Akin to Mickey + Lenny spurring each other onto greatness through their mutual rivalry.

Note to myself for the kids. Use nary a discouraging word. Try to open as many windows as possible. The generation of duck and cover + see the big light ... ripped clothing blown up ...

Law of diffraction. + attraction. Just for the friends not for the empire.
Or, perhaps for the empire, too. 

If we were to reckon People by three things; would they be...
What is your favorite Candid Camera episode?
What was your favorite drawn cartoon?
How would you use your second chance?

Answers in the next installment.

Random thoughts. Ephemeral words.

The word ‘thwarted’ is only used in novels.

Vampires ARE real! I saw a vampire interviewed on the National Geographic channel, and they don’t lie, do they mom?

Water tanks + the wayside shrines.

End of a limerick never written
...for she can balance quite well w'out it.

Got to admire Aubrey Beardlsey, a man who in this ninth hour destroys some of his life’s work on the grounds that it is obscene + reckons he wont make it through the inspection gate of heaven w/ it in his satchel.

+, J. Adams, who in a huff would jump up on the board table throw his furry wig at his peers.

Lying down is like standing on your side.

We have hit upon the Baroque of cartoons. i believe Flapjack is a good example.

Today's rainy day to-do list;
Build a fishing rod for Chloe-
Make NY pretzels with kids help-
Disperse dye a red cape-
Repair a chenille fabric coverlet-
Make dog shade cover for the deck w/ scrap flag nylon-
Go to graveyard in the rain-
Remember to take pic of mossy crumbly green-

You can’t make time, but you can create more space.