21.5.20




























Is silence ever?

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction. -Douglas MacArthur

Again w/ the ready fire aim - jumping in at any point to initiate a beginning.

Why bother to go play when already thoughts run wild around guests that politely fume on smoke rings quelling any interest + stealling meaningful time by adhering to the soft clutch of conversation skimming as an oil slick across water straying just out of reach.

Cultivating diversity -
Hone natural abilities that lie on tables tops sliding onto the travertine floor waiting for a chance to escape with a livelihood all their own — only to wait wait wait patiently so very quiet calm collected unnoticed even turning into gelatinous dusty messes unable to perform unable to redeem yea unable to think. -note a/part of me wrote in my croquis two decades ago.

What i learned today:

• It is still useless to use dirty water while using white paint.

• Walking after dusk is relaxing as i do not see what needs to be tended to - while enjoying the white flowers pop.

It seems the more personal the work the more it becomes a universal agreement. 

• Again, it is harder to make beautiful painting interesting, then a to make an interesting painting beautiful.


While re-watching Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America, i recognized the importance of a secondary scene. Noodles walks into Fat Moe’s bar + hands him a clock key. Fats walks to the stopped grandfather clock + switches time back on* after 30+ years of Noodles absence. This is a clue of Noodles is death + this is his alternative future in his delusion of reprieve state of opium. Just sayin'.
*As in the Victorian practice of stopping a clock at the time of death.

When the opportunity expresses itself stand up + spin around, stepping up to a higher plane recognizing that none of this matters - that is the exhilaration part. Then sit back down + when your eyes close you will remember repulsively to pay the electric bill. 

above: Degrees of Spontaneity in Times of Resistance
                                                                  -30-