29.4.09


There are lots of reasons to cry.
It would fill 4 or 5 books just to list the why's.
-Chloe Mae

28.4.09









T
hose Groucho glasses ... are they used to see through the humor or to see w/ humor. Why do i worry about these things? i just cant make these things go away.

Not trying to try to be difficult.

i don't like to talk to cops. i feel compelled to confess something i didn’t do. + they may feel obligated to pull me in for questioning.

i like mental fleeing. + the other kind. Where-to Pilgrimages ... a variety of travel that  falls outside the threshold of your adventure boundaries.

V
acation of mystery, where you pay your money + get on the plane. The only clue to where you are traveling to is the list of what you were asked to bring.

• Two ripped tee shirts, a copy of Bound for Glory, floss, wipes, a wing + a prayer.
- theme might be, Boxcars and Croissants.

• Loose belt, tweed cap, cushion, old newspapers, lined moleskine, favorite pen.
- genre would be; Castle and Pub Crawl.

• Diaphanous dress, night glasses, large canvas bag, water purifier, band-aids, air sickness pills.
- probably be, Under Bridges and Over Rainbows.

Vacations titles, would be more even more fun to think up than, say, the names for new nail polish colors. + who wouldn’t want that job?

Take the wrong turns toward the uncharted; find something new.

23.4.09














Oh, for writing out loud!

second wind...
Nothing awakens the heart or stops it cold more than dirtying pages. To me, writing is much like gardening. Carrying my tools out, i turn to a place looking as though it needs a bit of tending to. i have a sit. Before long, using a word dragnet, i’ve raked in + set up a few pages, + weeded through verbosity.

i heard KR will be writing an autobiography. Good thing. I hope it’s full of lies. He’s one of my heroes.

116 Having just spied Keith Richards on the cover of the Rolling Stone, i ran back to the studio to ask who would go get it for me. Someone joked, It’s just like porn, after the first time you buy, it’s no big deal.

A kind soul left + came back with the tabloid. i ran into the oval office showing off the cover image. A universal grimaceJayne, I just had lunch!

...the river is flowing, rolling and flowing. the river is flowing, down to the sea...


17.4.09
















i’m guessing we had the last snowfall of the year a few days ago. We drove home after dark + experienced the spaceship phenomenon of entering another dimension. When driving against the wind + the large snowflakes are lit up in the headlights angled directly toward you, it resembles passage in hyper space.


T
he Ship Sails On. Bravo! After standing in the wings of a performance my sides ache from holding my breath w/ the opera singers. i knew a singer in Maine who would open the door + sing out Daisy! She wouldn’t dare hurt her voice by screaming for her dog. There must exist a book of singing voice etiquette to look up the correct operatic way to call out.

The designer David Walker said, in answer to a college trying to get him to commiserate,
No, we choose what we want to be, and we pay for it.
i remember asking David if he thought in British accent. He said he never took curtain calls. i always wondered if that was true. 

The best would be at a restaurant table full of professional singers on your birthday. Or, best ever, would be if they mark + sing Happy Birthday off key. Half way through kick it into full opera
crescendo
expression to the end.

i Went into a posh market today where they put the fresh ground coffee right next to the gourmet chocolate so the aromas mingled to make magic. i appreciated that.

Traveling on the highway, one new it was good Friday because there was a boroboro looking fellow w/ a full size crucifix dragging it annoyingly w/ a roller skate strapped to the base. i reckon he wasn’t expecting the good Samaritan.

Once + again the seasons move like the slow breeze where you can catch them. It’s then you see all of the space between then + now + cant possibly describe all that went on in between.

Melancholia vs. 
echolalia, w/ accordion.
Enlightenment comes with a headache.


When one is thoroughly practiced in something, it is not necessary to look deliberately. -Yagyu Munenori


6.4.09






I
t is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.  -Mark Twain
.

i am not afraid.


Dream of shuffling the scripture.


Sign on the pearly gate, We have the divine right not to serve anyone.
 i’m thinking ...Who’s sign is this anyway?

A sputter. Religion largely assumes we exist + that we are spiritual beings w/ a direct propose.

Questioning belittles faith. i do believe on a sanctified level we are not at all that different + so to put much energy into worrying about the hereafter life may be time not well spent + possibly wasted. Being spiritual about the herenow plane, though, has benefits. Spirit creator, spirit redeemer, all spirit w/in us. 

words & excuses / loop knot / slip knot...ooops!
A question crawls out of the question before. 

Ask the kids and they will answer:

i don't think
Jesus is in heaven anymore, that was a long time ago.  -ANHH

Maybe
we cant remember what heaven was like before we were born because it’s the same as here.  
-CMHH

2.4.09


Birds keep hitting the window pane / pain. Story of an asylum, but which kind; forgiveness asylum, or, insanity asylum. Noun or adjective.

117 Break. A loaded word. Breakable, breakaway, breakthrough, breakup, brakes, broke, broken. Again + again i revisit breaking into a boarded up insane asylum near New London. Mark had taken in tobacco, + i prayer ties, as gifts to Spirit in trade for the inconvenience. We needed to be prepared if we bumped into a troubled shadow along the way. We scaled the brick facade up the three story institutional building to the open window + lowered ourselves into the industrial kitchen. We jumped down to the worn tile ground floor rivaling monkeys w/ the aid of steel armature. Room after enormous room was hauntingly empty. The floor was covered in a mixed rubbish of leaves, dust, + animal droppings. From door to door there were cleared trails made by prowling animals on a mission w/ a quickest bee line through the room. There was a laboratory, used to study brain function + perform lobotomy. Shoe boxes were scattered in disarray throughout the clinical rooms. These were full of glass slides w/ images of sliced brains. The rubber rooms were littered w/ metal cots + telltale handwritten letters to the outside. Having never been delivered, these reports must have been patient’s therapy. A way for the inmates to feel in control of their destiny. There is an image burned in my mind of a water flooded room w/ a metal seat resting in the middle of the floor, it’s stagnant reflection in the water. The far brick wall suffered a chest high opening. The stone wall is crumbled in as though someone barreled through battering ram style getting into this room. The set makings for something sinister + very sad.

Sleeping under a pall for a quilt bed spread. i had the distinct feeling someone was leaning over + peering down into my face from the darkness — seeing if they recognized me — but no one was out there.

So it is in the world, when you go into the depths of the mountains, if you want to go farther, you will again come out of the mountains.  -Miyamoto Musashi