'Drew had sat quietly + listened to a Tibetan monk + his translator. Three hours flew by. He must have been deep in thought, for on the way out he accidentally let go the door on Ruth Denison, who was coming up behind. We apologized. + i thought, she is wise, she knows we all have to live in this world, too.

Crystal, Rainbow, Indigo ... i realize my naivety, + this is all very interesting, but what of identifying generations in the metaphysical world + the one world we have to live in? We are all a part of a tribe that propels the next forward. If the new kin coming up think they should be able to image what they want + have it in front of them instantly ... so, what about it? Yes, we may be able to do this in a one hundred years, but for now, unless in front of a fast food counter, a bit of patience works the best.

i find more + more wider + wider descriptions for making everyone happy — spiritual yet flippant — serious yet irreverent — beautiful yet edgy.  

Will you explain everything when the opportunity presents itself?  -Ringo / HELP

Possibly tedious random thoughts from a page out of a notebook, in one paragraph, split.

Dream of a cookbook called The White Bag. The pages are packed w/ elaborate recipes of incredible sounding deserts described in superlatives. The tease is - next to each recipe there is a photo of a well laid plate, empty except for a few crumbs, a sticky fork + a soiled napkin.

The infamous elderly mom + middle-age daughter, cousins of Jackie BKO. The duet are rich, living in a slummed mansion in Hampton. They eat cat food paté on crackers + fight over mundane things. A dangerous combination of stubborn, compulsive + impatient. These women feel like a strange voyeuristic oddity.

Some of us are seeing ourselves cross over into elder-land. i find it weirdly inspiring that the more life experience i acquire the more i resonate w/ Big Edith + Eddie. The great part is i rarely get frantic nervous anymore. i wait for it to kick, again + again...it doesn't. 

 Ersatz hard to put in a sentence. + the word thwarted. Never heard that spoken aloud, it is seen mostly written in novels. 

Note: check if Almost Certainly - is a cognitive behavior therapy. + if this has something to do with the Knights of Templar + Free Masons.

Scribble.

Not bragging or complaining, but there is a dissatisfied curse in the artist aesthetic.

Not ever being content w/ a healthy walk, or hearing a proper musical, we educe the snare of inspiration. Whatever the medium used, it’s all the up-constant + continuing retelling of the thing. The creative spirit keeps us going, questioning our steps, keeping us grounded in the dirt, trudging along.

Floating memory of walking past a pile of fish heads in the lower east side. Some how you knew if you gazed too long the image would burn into your psyche and resurface as a nightmare....

What might it become after it is internalized, digested and reinterpreted? Did it become the skeleton of that horrific bricolage of painted napkins, metal springs + severed doll hands? Did it become your to-do list? Did it become the color lipstick you picked out this morning? Does it have any resemblance to naturalistic form, or, jumped to stylized representation? Nay, transformed into the oblivion of pure abstraction? (Ha! What does art do?) Did it go in as the classical phase + come out Baroque?

What Mannerism do we go from Baroque? Enter the fall of Rome + the ensuing Phoenix.

....The most picayune memory will be carried through a lifetime to be relived in a flash as the unexpected reflection slaps us while we plant this years tomatoes.

If you can imagine yourself driving south while you’re driving north on the east coast, you’ll feel as though you’re driving south on the west. 

Rest on that.

If I knew what art was, I wouldn’t tell you.  -Picasso (figures)

...Are to...not...are too...am not...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am not ...you are
...Are too...am not...are too...am ...are not...Are too...I am not...are too...am...you are to
...Are too...not...are too...am...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am...you are to...not...are too...am not...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am not ...you are...Are too...am not...are too...am ...are not...Are too...I am not...are too...am...you are to...Are too...not...are too...am...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am...you are to...Are too...am not...are too...am...you are to...

It’s neat, it’s logical and I can’t argue with it.  - Mickey Moran

i really thought i was going to miss out getting to appreciate this part. 

i thought ‘Drew had skipped what i had always recognized as a privileged + important development of a male youngster. Those of you who have sons know what i am talking about. Those of you grown men will remember when the Copycat Gene kicked in. Time was when you could mimic. My son does now; the sounds of a race starting, a battle commencing, blowing up buildings, pistols, riffles, + machine guns. The more advanced sounds i’ve been recognizing include outboard motor boats, wenches wenching, + toilets flushing, + seagulls on a beach. But, i reckon a repertoire would not be complete w/out perfecting the Darth Vader breathy breathy thing.

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‘Drew’s eyes were closed + he was about to fall asleep, but he had one last idea,
What if our life is on the movie screen, and the cartoons are watching us?

All kids have to go through their ‘song writing’ phase, you know that.  - Mrs. Moran.

An elderly Tasha Tudor is wearing a hobo suit + babushka (she sewed) + is riding an oversize red tricycle (she painted) w/ a potato basket (she wove) filled w/ flowers (she grew) tied on the handle bars (she’s not holding on to because she's reading a book she wrote + illustrated) w/ handlebar tassels (she dyed). At that moment, i want to be her.

She points out one of the tacky black velvet painting in the book, Look how the black brings out the yellow.

Eager to impress her, i say, Oh, no, See how the black strangles the yellow + drags it out?

She smiles + politely asking me to leave her dream. 

Just because they are your personal hero doesn't mean you’d see eye to eye.

Scout meeting. The boys each in turn sounded off what he wanted to be.

A marine meteorologist, a dancer, a paleontologist, an archaeological anthropologist, an engineer, a biological anthropologist, an archaeological anthropologist, a Linguist, + a few things i had to look up. in a heartbeat, my son said a super hero — w/ just as much conviction as the rest.

When it was my turn i mentioned that there once was a football goal kicker named Ray Wersching, who always looked down entering the ball field, never toward where he was kicking. The quarterback aimed him in the right direction + Ray lifted his head only after the kick. They didn’t believe me. i don’t know why, it seemed important for them to know.

They are digging in my business. How dare they!  - CMHH

At the risk of getting heavy...

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As an artist you must be responsible for the images you create. As a person in general it is important to be in touch w/ your motives. i know that i would make a poor debate partner as it is more important for me to make an eloquent point than to get the facts straight. An artist’s statement is always changing. When developing as an artist you never call yourself one because you’re not there yet. By the time you are, your work has become so Byzantine the Artist label is an easy way out.

+ so, + i’m figuring this out as i write, the personal work that was offered out into the world so tentatively twenty-five years ago, is now flung out w/ confidence + unconcern for the frequent belittler. Not looking back, but ahead + over yonder to fill in more lines to appease my disquieted mind. Make room for more white paper + sharp pencils. Zen says you can not get to truth through reasoning, it is too limiting. There’s a good reason for ya. 

Rest on that.

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.  - St. Francis of Assisi 

above - CMHH in Practically Pink / art happening

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i think i’m pretty sure. 

What do false faces have to do w/ the wrong of the paper? It is true, the more we build up some dreaded thing, the easier it will be, by contrast, when it comes to pass. Part of the human condition is to make commitments + carry through. 

147
We all have the luxury of philosophizing now + again in our daily living. But as intriguing as reasoning to reason is, + the idea of categorizing the act of thinking is, it is also unrealistic for most of us. When i’m looking for something theoretical, i rarely find it by looking. Most of the gems i’ve held onto have come in the state of pre-empting brainwork. i like being surprised by philosophy. When your not expecting it creeps up front + you see an epiphany in a cereal bowl at the sink.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.  - T.S.

An intent of writing is to heal + awaken. Words dancing off the page aiming their medicine into the topical condition  + back to the scribe. Being judged or judged not, supported, or supported not, loved or not.

Dominate cherub so not to hoard the impossibly irresistible troupe disease. 

One of those meaningless mnemonic device sentences that you construct as a list to be able to remember despairing particulars you would otherwise forget if you tried to recall them separately.

An experiment in stream of conscience:...went into the place, left, salt picture too blurry from fade, this is too bright, the books will fall, falling, too late, older than, it worked for Edith Head, check that...mark of Cain, + that, metaphor, is that something, expected but never believed when it happens pull here, dad gum, needs an illustration...

All things being equal, stream of consciousness sounds this side of mad. Rest on that.

...but then using reason doesn't always make sense neither.