My work hollers at me, i hear it loud + clear.  My work lives as thoughts. i have collected these thoughts over the years, categorizing them, comparing, + taking notes on the notes.

i nail them down w/ colorful glass-head pins, spread open on the cork board parading w/ other though-captives + notice that some of them still twitch.

They question me;

If i shape a work perfect, exactly what i want — if i EVER manifested the artwork perfect — would i be afraid to try again?

 

  

Just one regular breath, that’s all.

i seem to be better at understanding the entire picture + then taking it apart to understand the  pieces + how the big picture fits. Not so good at getting a bit at a time + adding + putting the puzzle together.
A necessary condition of knowing is belief.

The dark ages are one of my favorites. Crusaders + their real life MacGuffins. Finding relics at just the correct time to win over + rally, to spur on the waining troops. Gaslighting a generation, the first motivational speeches for political persuasion! 

Relics were an early form of propaganda. An idea whose time had finally come.

I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion. -Themistocles

All misunderstandings are my own.

Isolation is no longer an option.

Figuring is a compelling thought; the complexity of words when used as a constrictor knot. The slip of the noose never loosens. 

The 12 step/ping on eggs plan. Most of the time i feel like i’m on the twelve-step program + i’m not an addict … is this the human condition? It is insulting to me as an artist to be asked to play such a shallow game.

The great debate.

i am a cross trained artist. That means, out of necessity, i'm trained in the fine arts, theater arts + design arts.

 

Having used the terms artist / image maker on my vitae for the past thirty years, It is impossible for me to separate the doing + the being. i also use the word, designer, just as often. The word artist is not pretentious. It's just a word we turn over + into something in our minds. 

101. Cross-training is important. There is no obvious path, + there isn't an automatically garnered paycheck. It is valuable to know what you are asking to be done. Know the execution of what you are asking of someone else. When others realize you have come up in the ranks, + you have put your time in, there is more allowance of respect.  

We have a saying — whomever touches the project last, wins.

After everyone has taken off their stage makeup, + other, i’m asked to go celebrate the show. i decline. Thinking: let me simply enjoy you professionally up on the stage. i am not interested in what pills you take, what labels you wear, what animals you eat….

You all know how to do this  — we’ll come back, for the hard part.

Way Random.

Yes, there is an immediacy, visual satisfaction, + acceptance in symmetrical.beauty. i have a long-time collaborator whom goes to symmetry first, + that is good play for me ... because i do not think symmetrical naturally. Asymmetrical comes as a first hit  + i need to work at finding a symmetry. It can be true, though, in art as in nature — the most striking look is symmetrical.

Pacing the floor + staring down into the wood grain, i spy the dog profile, the man in the moon, the kinda sorta. Over + over again. W/ an inward smile at the portrait of the artist as a space cadet — the pacing stops + walking begins.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  -Plato 

i have felt that whether, is an odd word. It looks to me to be spelled wrong. It does not work well written, a bit better in verbal speech.

   1. Used to introduce an interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate uncertainty between them; if.

He chose the correct answer, but whether by luck or by skill I don't know.

 2. Used to introduce a yes-or-no interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of a single possibility, and indicate uncertainty over it; if, whether or not.

Do you know whether he's coming?

   3. Used to introduce multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate the irrelevance of which is the case; regardless of whether, no matter whether.

He's coming, whether you like it or not.

Archetype #2

Ugly Duckling / Child's illustration

Archetype #3

 

King / child's illustration

Archetype # 5

Big Bad Wolf / child's illustration

Jumping into unstudied situations.

The fire flared up and fell – no one ran to catch it as it slid down the sharp incline of the hill destroying the gold that was so very hard to conjure. The flame powerfully snatched treasure in the mundane calm cycle of consuming, melting + defecating, leaving the left-behind to congeal into a big unrecognizable mess.

.....

The simple rice bowl was broken + had a void that was never put together again in just the right way. There was a tiny chip missing that kept it from being mended properly. That negative space is now filled with gold — the perfect metal, the solar metal — to heighten its history + beauty.

.....

He saw through the walls of fire with the intensity of seeing something of great interest.

Even thought the other room was held empty, of thought or purpose.

.....
Picking through the fuselage she found a memory that was waiting to be unwrapped. She could feel the sharp edges under the charred swathe belying recognition. It had been abandoned long ago; hoping to find a new place to rest, finding a home far away form the originator. 

      

Like an ancient Egyptian, i spent the mornings drawing a likeness on the inner soles of sandals, and so, throughout my day i will symbolically crush the enemy with every step that i take.

   O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth,

That I am meek and gentle with these butchers!

Thou art the ruins of the noblest man

That ever lived in the tide of times.

Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!

Over thy wounds now do I prophesy,--

Which, like dumb mouths, do ope their ruby lips,

To beg the voice and utterance of my tongue--

A curse shall light upon the limbs of men;

Domestic fury and fierce civil strife

Shall cumber all the parts of Italy;

Blood and destruction shall be so in use

And dreadful objects so familiar

That mothers shall but smile when they behold

Their infants quarter'd with the hands of war;

All pity choked with custom of fell deeds:

And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,

With Ate by his side come hot from hell,

Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;

That this foul deed shall smell above the earth

With carrion men, groaning for burial.

- Marc Antony /via Shakespeare

Learning x3: 

Reflection / Experience / Imitation

IDEA: It’s an immigrant experience moving from coast to coast.

IDEA: Hebrew for sin meant/s missing the mark,   mn or not being there.

IDEA: A gallery of ideas of my own mistakes.

IDEA: If catholics don’t believe that animals continue to exist after bodily death as human souls do, then why is st. francis teaching them?

Shuffling always brings the ace to the top.

i’m typing exactly - so why aren’t i speaking exactly?

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. -Percy Bysshe Shelley  

A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. -Victor Hugo

These are the eyes of a maché Minotaur mask.

This is all that is left.

Thoughts have been too wiley to capture. i need a larger net.

Here are a few of the smaller ones that fell for the booby trap.

i no longer assume.

(not just an interesting idea)

In this dream, i am driving in traffic. i climb in the back seat to get a better view of what just went past, a wider view of what is going on. In back i can neither steer nor use the break, i’m totally out of control … + … everything is okay, it works out on its own just fine.

The mind is so very loud when it is silent.

Using a needle with an eye as big as a camel.

i like the metaphor Ship of Fools. The objective of singling out individuals that are less desirable, + giving them the honor of a one-way ticket out of the harbor. They’d land on another shore … where eventually they'd be rounded up again to embark on another voyage somewhere else. Those must have been the most interesting of happenings.