1.9.12





Way Random.

Yes, there is an immediacy, visual satisfaction, + acceptance in symmetrical.beauty. i have a long-time collaborator whom goes to symmetry first, + that is good play for me ... because i do not think symmetrical naturally. Asymmetrical comes as a first hit  + i need to work at finding a symmetry. It can be true, though, in art as in nature — the most striking look is symmetrical.

Pacing the floor + staring down into the wood grain, i spy the dog profile, the man in the moon, the kinda sorta. Over + over again. W/ an inward smile at the portrait of the artist as a space cadet — the pacing stops + walking begins.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  -Plato 

i have felt that whether, is an odd word. It looks to me to be spelled wrong. It does not work well written, a bit better in verbal speech.

   1. Used to introduce an interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate uncertainty between them; if.

He chose the correct answer, but whether by luck or by skill I don't know.


 2. Used to introduce a yes-or-no interrogative content clause (indirect question) that consists of a single possibility, and indicate uncertainty over it; if, whether or not.

Do you know whether he's coming?


   3. Used to introduce multiple alternative possibilities, and indicate the irrelevance of which is the case; regardless of whether, no matter whether.

He's coming, whether you like it or not.




8.7.12


















Jumping into unstudied situations.

The fire flared up and fell – no one ran to catch it as it slid down the sharp incline of the hill destroying the gold that was so very hard to conjure. The flame powerfully snatched treasure in the mundane calm cycle of consuming, melting + defecating, leaving the left-behind to congeal into a big unrecognizable mess.
.....
The simple rice bowl was broken + had a void that was never put together again in just the right way. There was a tiny chip missing that kept it from being mended properly. That negative space is now filled with gold — the perfect metal, the solar metal — to heighten its history + beauty.
.....
He saw through the walls of fire with the intensity of seeing something of great interest.
Even thought the other room was held empty, of thought or purpose.
.....
Picking through the fuselage she found a memory that was waiting to be unwrapped. She could feel the sharp edges under the charred swathe belying recognition. It had been abandoned long ago; hoping to find a new place to rest, finding a home far away form the originator. 

3.7.12






      







Like an ancient Egyptian, i spent the mornings drawing a likeness on the inner soles of sandals, and so, throughout my day i will symbolically crush the enemy with every step that i take.

   O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth,
That I am meek and gentle with these butchers!
Thou art the ruins of the noblest man
That ever lived in the tide of times.
Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!
Over thy wounds now do I prophesy,--
Which, like dumb mouths, do ope their ruby lips,
To beg the voice and utterance of my tongue--
A curse shall light upon the limbs of men;
Domestic fury and fierce civil strife
Shall cumber all the parts of Italy;
Blood and destruction shall be so in use
And dreadful objects so familiar
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quarter'd with the hands of war;
All pity choked with custom of fell deeds:
And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,
With Ate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.
- Marc Antony /via Shakespeare

23.6.12







Learning x3: 

Reflection / Experience / Imitation


IDEA: It’s an immigrant experience moving from coast to coast.

IDEA: Hebrew for sin meant/s missing the mark,   mn or not being there.

IDEA: A gallery of ideas of my own mistakes.

IDEA: If catholics don’t believe that animals continue to exist after bodily death as human souls do, then why is st. francis teaching them?


Shuffling always brings the ace to the top.

i’m typing exactly - so why aren’t i speaking exactly?

13.6.12




















History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. -Percy Bysshe Shelley  


A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. -Victor Hugo


25.5.12







These are the eyes of a maché Minotaur mask.
This is all that is left.

Thoughts have been too wiley to capture. i need a larger net.
Here are a few of the smaller ones that fell for the booby trap.

i no longer assume.
(not just an interesting idea)

In this dream, i am driving in traffic. i climb in the back seat to get a better view of what just went past, a wider view of what is going on. In back i can neither steer nor use the break, i’m totally out of control … + … everything is okay, it works out on its own just fine.
The mind is so very loud when it is silent.

Using a needle with an eye as big as a camel.

i like the metaphor Ship of Fools. The objective of singling out individuals that are less desirable, + giving them the honor of a one-way ticket out of the harbor. They’d land on another shore … where eventually they'd be rounded up again to embark on another voyage somewhere else. Those must have been the most interesting of happenings.

7.5.12


  


 

Cannons

It's an engine of creation. If it works, don’t fix it. If it’s broken, don’t fix it.

About three-thirty in the nighttime, I came across a makeshift temple with a handwritten sign. Anyone that trespasses will be recruited for earthy employ.


I had gotten use to the brevity of the after world: the hilarium, the tediousness, and the dull.

Hearing I was drafted, I did myself the favor of getting real drunk in the classic off-to-war style way before headed off. In training I learned I was to wear a white uniform sporting red diagrams. Not understanding if I was to be read as information or stand out as a target, and before I could ask what the — I was sent back — back to exact locations on earth leaving notes to mortals. The letters were pretty little things wrapped in rags explaining luck of ominous intent, timing, and farewell. The receivers where to recognize the import of the kismet, or not. 

……….



“Well then, how DO you work? I mean, in general.”


“Generally,” Kim answered honestly, “I agree to whatever the client likes, and then I go and do what I want to,” she rolled her eyes and shrugged, “You know, in general.”

 

They both climbed up on the tailgate and looked into the cooler. Kim discarded her thigh high lace-up sandals and rubbed at the tattoo marks left by the leather straps.


Les handed her lunch, and she immediately ripped open the hoagie and began digging through the sandwich to tossing out what she would not eat.


“I’ll take that,” he interrupted her arm in mid-air.


Ignoring a blinding shine winking a bit off in the distance, he tossed the pickle into his mouth and continued the thread he had been trying to get across. 


“Like I was saying, that Buick/Opel ’76 is an ugly car, I mean 2 for 1 ugly. Ahead-of-it’s-time ugly.” His mood was all pink and baby blue, teetering on the fun Sagittariun/Gemini nightmare that he embodied.


Tiring of this conversation she sang out, “Got it!” extending the vowels. “Don’t you just love the way the desert is so VERY quiet.”


He smirked and communed with the sandwich, his jaw popping.

……….



It is all happenstance without much insight. There were neither names nor address on the small bundles. I began to wonder if synchronicity came into play. Does it have a pause button? What happens when the receiver is not looking or listening? On altered planes? What is an altered level? Are all levels altered? Are these, too, synchronized? Interesting questions without practical experience. I was back puffing and theorizing, walking the halls of middle school. The problem with this job, is too much time to think. Better to dwell on those impossible koans instead of the thwart factor. I set again to working fast in the dimensions and under conditions they gave me, sprinkling notes across a vast area. I Hurried to get finished, but also felt dread in getting back to home base.

……….



Thinking of nothing in particular but hoping for a thought to catch hold, Les hummed Canon alla Ottava slowly, a short fugue he had known since he was 7 years old. His fingers absent-mindedly moved to hit cords on an invisible harpsichord.


Kim was reminded of her earlier chapters, processing her life in five minutes the way brains do because they can. It read like a Herman Hesse novel, edited with a multitude of breakfasts and trips to the bathroom. She could count her life throwing curves at the right time — but there was always the whiff of anxiety just before a shift. The doubting that something will fall into her lap, just before something falls in her lap.


A piece of trash looking strangely like a rag spat out of no-where on no-wind and gently settled on red metal, looking like a burned paper scrap from a far off fire.


“Why DO you like the desert?”


“Well,” she simplified, “It’s a large blank canvas to me.”


He imagined a pressure cooker and arranged another smirk. Picking up on this mental image she added,


 “Okay, a hot canvas. Something will happen. The white screen will in time burst and reveal something you didn’t imagine.”


“You’re are scaring me.” Les mocked, “Anita, white is for babies.”  


He loved her, but loved to tease her more, keeping her from spinning out completely. Her triple Scorpio nature always lurked.


Kim palmed her chin and splayed her fingers, “Ha! You came with your mouth open. It’s immaterial. But it’s usually something cool, nothing scary about it.”


“Touché.”

……….



Delivering fate is like connecting the dots. A shattering and replacing of stars, to become an aerial view of a city map of manhole covers. Bright circles of the primary colored twister game connecting dot-to-dots. Of the 101 delusions maybe there’s only one copied over and over. This was all beyond my threshold of adventure. Mars in Cancer. But, who would be brave enough to say so? Not me.

……….



Les fell to patient waiting for the wide white screen to crack open with the missing piece. Patiently waiting for Kim to find a Godot.


“Ever feel like you’re looking for gold in a copper mine?” he offered. They both looked out, their gaze following a meandering gully left by a recent flash flood.


A yellow balloon drifted past them high up in the atmosphere along an escape route from an amusement park 74 miles away.


After another long pause, Kim seceded the campaign.


“Okay, let s get going, I’m not finding what I came here for.”

Jumping down, she stretched sideways with her hands on her head. She followed him into the truck.


“And, on the way back please, don’t desecrate Motown.” The engine cranked over and the stick pushed into first.


He raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t I show you my hall-pass?”


She was in control of the wheels as they spun a u-turn. Peeling away, what looked to be a delicate rag flew off the top of the red cab.

-30-




19.4.12

















You know the feeling when you sip tea + feel yourself falling through the floor, pummeling into the center of the earth w/out the aid of a spoon, out the south end + keep going? This is that.

DOM muse - Choirs of Shadow Flying by Violent Eclipse 
(this will not transfer correctly? run-on? Know a choka is 5/7, 5/7, 5/7... ending with another 7 syllables.) 

Choka #38

Bumped off of the plank

Into the deepest of depths

A perfect swan dive

Through the blackest of wonder

If a god’s in sight

An awing is not offered

Brave the brief transit

Powered by failing flashlight

White winging singing

Shadows on their high horses

Their drone of not here

Simply the orchestra’s wind

Section tuning up 

Sounding like birds answering

Each other with riffs

Reading their mumbling lips   

Don’t look in our eyes

And you will not discover

Their look of distrust

Turning heads as comets will

Then elegantly

Trail the sharp icy crystals

Of being stood up

It is the best they can do

Light bright marquee crawls 

Across all human foreheads

Blatantly announce

Has Need to Get out Much More

With limp broken wings

I see the loathsome shadow

Dark is the hangman

He’s fumbling with the noose

Know that Surrender

Leads away from obvious

A powerful tool

For the love of your life call

And I kid you not

666-666-6

Recognizable 

… 

His left hand will be hidden

And his face will be bowed low





10.4.12


A bone yard can seem like an apocalyptic setting. This one, just outside the enormous theme park held parallel two popular pedestrian roads. The acreage could be seen above composed as a massive Zen garden holding enormous neon signs half covered in false ivy and topiary, a dead dragon exposing its skeleton of wire guts where maché skin had been eaten away by rodents, and a façade of a charred saloon. Indescribable and misunderstood humps of lost-useful things too big to be trapped indoors all nestled on the bleached antiseptic sand. The wabi-sabi of calm and individual. From the ground it looked like a giant’s playpen who had thrown toys around to amuse himself, or perhaps to strategize warfare with use objects. Looked at a third time; a mental map, a large hippocampus’ treasure.  However, that may be going a bit too far.


Jenny was a slight young woman intent on beginning over and over, with blunt feet and the posture of a stargazer. Wallace was studied in drawing an analogy between the macrocosmos of nature and the microcosmos of man, without much interest in between. He seemed never to begin nor end conversations, comfortable instead with a continuous inner speak that jumped out now and again.  Like miniature articulating dolls they appear from the direction of the ten-foot cyclone barrier. They have used this cut through many times and were not so unimpressed as familiar with the sites.


They walked through the distressed junkyard tossing out famous last lines.

“This is not as dangerous as it looks.”

“Ha, if weren’t safe they wouldn’t let us do it.”

“We’ll be safe under here….”

“This rope will hold.”

Laughing came easily with easy company.


“Oh yea” he said picking up a thread of an earlier conversation,

“I got it; every religious conviction then, by nature, is half speculative.”

When her confirmation was not forthcoming he added, “Qui tacet consentire videtur?”

“Right, grasshopper,” Jenny offered with a quirky smile erupting.


With her forearm she wiped back her long boyish sweaty bangs exposing an impressive birthmark over her center eye. It was a vestige of a former life.

He egged her onto a story he had heard numerous times. Thinking herself as being measured, she straightened her small frame, gaining composer and height as she walked on passing two-story ball and jacks, and a nest of archaeopteryx. Wallace smiled for what was coming and also for the advantage of now having space for his own thoughts. A bit of harmless trickery.


She told what she remembered, though words could not capture the richness and mystery of the tapestries that bore her image.

“We were not treated as well as you would expect. By nature we were holy things. The few of us evoked a since of preciousness to man but we were warriors and had to defend. Our safety vanished when we became known. When you are rare and beautiful you do not need to rely on magic … only malice. Our lives where fierce winds. The hunters were studied in false magic. But, we were not touched by charms or caged by low fences. The men were cloaked in charity, holding nets of magic, uttering profanity under their breath at every defeat. They blamed us for attempting escape. They blamed us when their trickery did not land us and they only became more determined to incarcerate our spirit.”


Her face grew darker in the shadow of a ridiculous massive sea monster.


“When the secret weapon appeared — a glowing white symbolizing the comfort we sought — we eventually fell. We could not sway the Virgin for long. We were not so strong against Her allure. Who of the forest dwellers had the inner power to deny Her? We were caught and bred into delusion and ineptitude. Hailed as profane and spat with irreverence. Her bloodied white gown our embarrassing mantle. Mythosed into plastic pastel colored ponies.”


Letting out a slow breath, Jenny brightened tossing her head back.

“Your turn,” she queued loud enough to jolt him from his obvious private reverie. 

“I was once and future primordial spec of which all things came to be and then the end.”


Wallace was whistling the preamble to the Superman Theme as they found the chink in the fence, maneuvered through, and were gone to the other side.

-30-