Dream; I am riding on a train that is in a perpetual right turn. I realize it’s on a wheel, of sorts, caught in going circles. I end up on my doorstep at a suburban sprawl house. As I reach for the door knob my ‘male’ springs out of the door, pacing, totting in place,
“Do you want to go running?”
“No, I want to go eat.”

I have had white-outs, (ok, people do not remind me) but I never lost a decade. If I have worked through layers and layers of emotional mud, I didn’t know about it. Thankfully, the upheavals I must expect lay dormant through denial and have gone undetected.

It’s curious how things were, how they are, how they could be. People in our lives that aren’t there anymore. The way time travels. Simple twists of fate. Some times they happen in an afternoon, 
Another time it takes years to pull your attention full circle.
    At some point you’ve lived long enough to recognize the cycles in life. What folds back upon itself. What wheels around again, and again. It’s interesting to see the circles we chose to close, which are left open, what ones filled up and frozen up with memories.
  Yet, we really never know what the next day will drop in front of us.
   I see a full circle, your circle.
  There is  a dismal attempt to put pieces back together again. I know that it is impossible.
   One of those wicked deja vu days.

I wrote a lot more than I got down on paper. 
You know how things take flight and circle, spiral up  again and again so high up there that they become unimportant or evaporate until the next time around.


  1. I like it and have found the same thing.
    Of course, you can never fix something that has already occurred, yet to somehow understand it is a way to see through it.
    I've found that more lately than ever before, and comes out in ways I never imagined.

  2. i would eat over running any day myelf...the cyclical nature of life...yep that i understand...

  3. The turning wheels of life.... yes now being older i can see the cycles more clearly and the meaning of it (sometimes) and that brings melancholic feelings.
    Wonderful post and the painting is just awesome! makes me wanna try painting on wood.
    Sweet greetz!

  4. one of those wicked deja vu days.... mmmmm!!

  5. Don't usually do this, but this reminded me of something...

    Touch and Go

  6. Nice Post!

    I'm with Brian, I would run any day too.


  7. My fish dreams are sex dreams.

    The sex dreams are fish dreams.

  8. Wow. I write a lot more than I can get down on paper. If I had gotten down on paper, especially the really important stuff that rises away from my brain and in to the ether, I'd be done.

  9. I may be way off but your writing reminded me of Blaise Pascal otherworldly and enchanting.

    quoted from his writings: "Les espaces infinis"... of space and the infinite space of human thoughts.

    Thanks you for such a lovely comment on my blog.

  10. Enjoyed reading this very much. I have been thinking about these very things...Is it the change of seasons, perhaps?

  11. I have had the same dream except that I'm on a merry-go-round and I have to choose a door.. Some I leave closed and some are left open, I have glass doors on some so that I can view fragile memories and keep them safe... Boxed.

    The merry-go-round never stops just slows down, a fleeting chance to 'visit' special memories... It's exausting. I can't get off..