It was requisite to see Niagara falls on our road trip. We ended up hitting the state line in the middle of the night. All the fancy lights had been shut down. We smuggled W.S.Trax into Canada. By that time she was very use to ‘lie still’ on the floor in the laundry bag. After seeing the big deal we walked up to the part where the water was calmer and belied no threat. It seemed like an nice swim around. I thought how easy it would be if you had a death wish to ease yourself into that lovely water. Fifty feet along the drift you’d get caught up in the here after. It’s not something you’d be able to change your mind about. You’d need to have set your resolve.

Last night, lying in bed, I began thinking how real that danger would be if one of the children slipped through the space between the grass and cement into that water for a little swim. The kind of realization that makes your heart race even though the danger is ten thousand miles away and ten years past. I had to mentally reduce Niagara to a harmless puddle to get back to sleep.

I often wake up and not know who I am. I don’t recognize the orientation of the room. The window being THERE, the door THERE. Sometimes I’m as sharp as the proverbial tack- sometimes I almost cry with dread before I remember who I am. But some inner prompting lets me to know. It doesn't make it sunny to know this is simply the human condition and limitation working.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. -Mark Twain


  1. How can one even comment. wow. You help describe what being a parent must be like. A child slipping away.
    And as far as waking up clueless, you are not alone, which is scarier than comforting, but you describe it incredibly. The only scarier thing is the people that never don't know who they are. L

  2. That never don't know...
    Hi Lonnie, I'm not ever surprised YOU 'get it'.
    But, I am always relieved.

  3. Hi Jayne. Terrifying on the Falls/children slipping away...Felt really real to read it. Whew.
    Most people THINK they know EXACTLY "who" they are. But they're always incorrect, because that WHO,it keeps changing.